Being a caregiver to your spouse is a unique position to be in. Often it means you give up the hopes and dreams you had together. In my case, it also meant I stopped dreaming about my own goals and dreams. My entire focus has become Mike’s health and well being. I noticed this happen little by little…
“I will sleep in the hospital because he is too confused to be alone.”
“I will take a break from working.”
“I will cut up his food because he can’t figure out utensils.”
“I will shower him because he’s uncomfortable letting anyone else do it.”
“He has a hard time separating reality and television, so I will keep the tv off.”
“He needs to sleep, so I will keep it quiet.”
“He is in the bedroom resting, so I will just pull some clothes out of the clean laundry.”
“Loud noises are hard, so we won’t go to restaurants or crowded areas.”
Ultimately it turns into “No one can ease his anxiety or care for him as well as I can, so I will stay home.”
…Am I right? This is a common theme among caregivers.
Caregiver pamphlets always have elderly people on them. Has anyone else noticed that? There is a whole community of us that are younger and are facing struggles that no one can imagine.
There is so much life to be lived. You can still live fully alive, even while devoting your life to someone else.
Don’t. Give. Up.
More to come on this subject.
Just know you aren’t alone. #caregiverstrong