2 months

It’s been two months. Nothing about our journey has been “normal” or “expected.” I’m trying to find a balance of honoring him, grieving that chapter of my life – and also knowing that there is still so much life and joy to be experienced ahead as I move forward. (Not move on, but move forward)

I can’t find words. Or maybe I’m afraid of judgement in any words I post. I realized that there will always people who think your grief is wrong. Too much, too little, too long or too short. But there is no cookie cutter answer to grief. No right or wrong way. No simple formula to get out pain free.

So far I’m dealing with mine privately.

I have had days in bed crying. I have had moments of joy, hope and laughter. I’m unapologetically letting my journey move forward and as I’ve helplessly watched my life fall apart….I’m hopeful that it will beautifully also be falling into place.

 

Grief looks like

swollen

eyes from

days of crying.

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Grief looks like giggles and snuggles with the best friend.

3BEAA40C-CB7E-49BD-A375-79D3F4D6EEC5.jpeg

Grief looks like days in bed crying.

C4637A1F-B4F9-426F-85E1-7F7D736EF07C.jpeg

Grief looks like busy….to avoid silence

FEF2D3A4-9C83-497E-98AC-D49746704F55AE4EA535-B9AC-4304-BF1A-0AB326F1EFE5DDE0DA7B-A001-4C4E-B4DB-52435F9739FC

Grief looks like new friends, old friends, and filling the house with a village.

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Grief even looks like a hike and mountain top experience.

D348C026-BFC5-4C71-AF4A-7A64B1525E51.jpeg

My grief is like waves. I have been silent with my grief, but it’s there.

 

 

 


3 responses to “2 months

  • Linda Thibodeaux

    Continuing to pray for all of you as you continue to live, love & grow in God’s grace🙏🏻💕

  • Symyra Holloway

    Shauna, whatever way and for however long you grieve, Sweetheart, it’s OK!! Don’t even worry or think about what anyone says…It’s OK!! Everyone grieve in their on way, just like you said, there’s no right or wrong in the way one grieves!!! I submit to you, just keep on praying for strength to make it through this season. You can even talk to Mike and ask him to help you through this too. (He’s always been your friend and helpmate, right?) He STILL is!! He’s just in an angel form. ?? Just take it one day at a time. When you feel happy, enjoy the happiness! When you feel like crying, cry! Then talk to YOUR angel and/or God and watch how you regain your strength to move forward and one day you’ll find yourself moving on……..Take Care And like always you and your family are in our prayers. Love, The Holloways ________________________________

  • tryingtosurviveonemomentatatime

    I’ve followed your blog for a very long time. I hadn’t checked it since before the holidays. I was surprised when I read it just now. I am crying with you here in Utah. I am so sorry. I understand where you are right now and my heart hurts for you and your family. Please be gentle with yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you when it’s time to be done grieving. In reality we start grieving with diagnosis so you’ve been feeling it for a long time. You have amazed me over the years and your strength has given me and probably countless others courage to get through our hard moments. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you peace and comfort. – Heather

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