It’s been two months. Nothing about our journey has been “normal” or “expected.” I’m trying to find a balance of honoring him, grieving that chapter of my life – and also knowing that there is still so much life and joy to be experienced ahead as I move forward. (Not move on, but move forward)
I can’t find words. Or maybe I’m afraid of judgement in any words I post. I realized that there will always people who think your grief is wrong. Too much, too little, too long or too short. But there is no cookie cutter answer to grief. No right or wrong way. No simple formula to get out pain free.
So far I’m dealing with mine privately.
I have had days in bed crying. I have had moments of joy, hope and laughter. I’m unapologetically letting my journey move forward and as I’ve helplessly watched my life fall apart….I’m hopeful that it will beautifully also be falling into place.
Grief looks like
days of crying.
Grief looks like giggles and snuggles with the best friend.
Grief looks like days in bed crying.
Grief looks like busy….to avoid silence
Grief looks like new friends, old friends, and filling the house with a village.
Grief even looks like a hike and mountain top experience.
My grief is like waves. I have been silent with my grief, but it’s there.