I’m weary. 6 years in and I just am. Mike wasn’t diagnosed yet in May 2012, but the symptoms were there. A man came today to give me an estimate on gutters and he was bold enough to say “God sent me here to your house today to tell you it’s going to be ok. Joy is coming.” I said “Joy comes in the morning.” He said “yes! My mom always told me that.” I told him that I believe that joy always comes in the morning, no matter how dark or how long the darkness. He told me that God wakes him up at 4 every morning. He said he wasn’t a religious person, but that he’s a spiritual person. That took some boldness. He had no idea how I’d receive everything he said.
The funny thing is, when he walked in I was all smiles. He read the sign by the door that says “Start each day with a grateful heart.” And I told him that’s exactly how I start each day. I invited him in and was chipper. When he started talking and telling me it was going to be ok, I cried.
God never intended on me being that strong person in every single situation that I try to pretend to be. God wants to bless who I was intended to be.
Don’t apologize for being who you are intended to be. Don’t feel like you have to be strong, or feel like you have to show emotion. Give yourself less judgement and more compassion. More grace.