I was looking at the fridge today and I realized that what is on our fridge totally sums up our life right now.
The 2012 “Shauna Emmons Photography” calendar magnet is still on there. 2012 was the best year my business ever had. Business boomed like crazy and it was a successful year. That is the year that my life outside of Mike and the kids was put on pause. Business was halted and all of my energy switched to my family. There is a photo of our family before Mike’s surgery and a photo of our new beginning with our vow renewal in August 2014. (Which Kenzie simply calls “the wedding” and says is the FAVORITE day of her life!) The hospice company magnet is on the fridge so the number is available in case of an urgent situation. A magnet about friends. A 2015 calendar – life still pretty much on pause. Kayla’s ultrasound photos from her last appointment. So much bitter sweetness on that fridge.
Then I started to look around the house and saw everything in a new light. One day nothing will be the same. Some days that thought is a comfort, today it was a thought of sadness. Suddenly I wanted to capture every little detail that I knew I would one day miss and that I realized I don’t fully appreciate in the moment. I knew that one day I will miss the random shoes that were taken off in a hurry and left on the floor. The books that got slid off the bed onto the floor so that we could snuggle before falling asleep. The paint drips on the table that drive me crazy now will be the things that will trigger the sweetest memories. Even the things that drive me crazy will be missed. I cringe when 4 hours is up and I have to pull out the medicine bottles yet again for another dose of medication for Mike. The video games, the snacks and dirty dishes, paint, toys on the floor. I will miss it all one day.
I set out with my camera this morning while the house was quiet with a photo journalistic approach in mind to document our life exactly how it was in that moment.
Don’t forget to appreciate the little things…the little things are the big things! I love my new plaque that my friend bought me. It says “Happiness is a wonderful choice.”