July 11

I know its ok to cry and breakdown once in awhile…but really…did I have to have my emotional breakdown in public?!  At least I was around my church family…but geesh…on the way to church last night I found myself really praying and getting teary eyed. I thought I had pulled myself together and went into church.  The crying just got worse once I got inside and I just lost control of my emotions.  Oh well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later.  I was just hoping it would happen in private.

We saw the Radiation Oncologist yesterday and Mike asked him about his chances of survival.  (staying positive – those that do survive are in Mikes situation: young, healthy, and have a total tumor removal like Mike did)  My God is bigger than what he told us, but it was still a heavy thing to take.

The Radiation Oncologist was great.  He is totally supportive of us going to Duke and is willing to work with the Duke doctor if needed.  He also said that he is supportive of our decision if we decide to stay at Duke for all of the treatment.  The Oncologist Nurse told me I was doing the right thing and that she would do the same if it was her family member.  If we stay local for treatment he will be starting radiation on the 23rd.

We have an appointment today to do the pre radiation stuff (ctscan, mask fitting, etc) to be on schedule for starting on the 23rd.

We also have an appointment today with the Oncologist who will prescribe the chemo – if we decide to stay local – but I am almost certain we are going with Dukes treatment options.  I sent off more records to Duke to see if he is a good candidate for a clinical trial.  Duke has had encouraging success with the clinical trials and Mike and I feel so far like that is where God wants us.  I do know that some people have gone through Duke and worked with local doctors to be able to receive treatment near home – just another thing we have to wait and see about.

I posted about the bracelets that I am selling for donations – Kayla took these photos with her ipod and made this.  I love to see her being supportive of her Dad.


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